Question:
I'm 15 years old and a male. I think I may have depression. What are symptoms? What treatments are there? Are there OTC products that can help? Here's what going on with me-
I used drugs for a period less than six months.
I went to group rehab with other teens once a week for 8 weeks.
I have been clean for over 2 months.
I think all this may have something to do with my problem.
I have a few relationship problems.
It greatly upsets me to here that a girl I have had some kind of physical contact with (kissing, etc.) isn't a virgin or has a reputation as being promiscuous(sp?).
I am a virgin.
I have had gone out with (dated) 3 girls. One in 7th grade. One in 8th grade (I kissed her). One before and at the beginning of my drug use about 6 months ago (We got as far as oral sex. She had a rep. of doing this with many guys.
Both of us said we loved each other. I still think about how we would be if my drug use didn't turn into about or never started at all and this greatly upsets me.)
I kissed another girl just two days ago. She isn't a virgin.
It used to really hurt me to know that girls have done stuff with other guys. Now, with the girl I kissed two days ago. I cried the last two nights over her. The first night because my brother told me he wanted her and was going to try to get her, so I guess I was very mad at him and that made me upset. My brother already has a girlfriend of a year and a half. The second night was because I thought that no one had answers for what I should do. I thought about suicide, but not long and not seriously. Today, someone at work, took a survey if people believed in love. Yes won 10 to 2. The girl I kissed said no. And so did my brother. But on many occasions before this he has said he loves his girlfriend which I believe he does. Or he at least thinks he does. Don't ask why he wants to cheat on her.
What I want is to stop crying at night, to feel better during the day, stopped being depressed for no reason, and in a better mood in general. I also would like some advice on how I can get to know the girl I kissed two days ago better. Should I call, write, talk to her friends? More importantly, what should I do about myself, and do I have depression? How do I tell my parents? I don't want to so could I take St. John's Wort? Would that help? Would it show up on drug tests I still have? Should I talk to my rehab counselor during a drug test about my depression?
Answer:
Please do tell your rehab counselor about your depression. He or she can tell you how to get the professional help you need. Ask advice too from rehab person on how to discuss the depression with your parents. Cory, you cannot self-medicate with St. John's Wart or anything else. You need to see an M.D. psychiatrist. Depression like you describe you have had lately is not just an emotional thing. Serious depression is a physical illness of the brain. It's great that you are already getting help to avoid improper drug use. Illegal drugs only mask depressed feeling a short while but make the depression over time much worse. Please be open with your rehab counselor and your parents. There is probably a mental health center near you that is very affordable, where you could get medications for depression if the psychiatrist
decides you need them, and you could also get some talk therapy for the personal issues (like the girls!) you are so unhappy about right now. Cory, it is normal to be sad about teen heartaches, but deeper depression is something that calls for medical attention from a psychiatrist M.D. I hope you will be feeling lots better soon.Wow Cory you've said an awful lot so go get something cold to drink while I try and reply to all your questions. Remember this is my opinion and I am not a trained professional in any of these matters you've talked about. I am just a female age 32 who's seen more then her share of bad relationships/good relationships, divorces, abuse and last but now least depression.Ok first of all you may have depression I would never rule that out. Yes there are OTC products you can get like St. Johns Wort. I don't really know how well it works and you really should speak to you drug rehab councilor before you start taking it.Actually my opinion is you were taking the drugs in order to deal with your depression that you hadn't recognized yet. Now that you are clean (btw congrats! I know how hard that is) you have no choice but to deal with the depression.
Your drug usage probably covered up the emotional pain that comes with depression but it's not a cure and actually if you were drinking or smoking pot it could have added more depression to your already depressive state.
I'm sorry to say but this day and age not too many girls your age are virgins. (There are some so don't loose total hope) .
There are virgins out there your age and much older but you seem to be attracted to girls who are not. Is it there boldness that attracts you?
Does your brother know you like this girl? If so then he's being a total jerk. I can't believe he says he's in love with one girl and wants another. He needs to take responsibilities a little more seriously. How old is your brother and does this new girl seem interested in him?
There is a way to survive these depressive episodes. Take them one day at a time, one hour at a time, one
minute at a time if necessary. Come here and ask for support or help. Do you have any close friends you can confide in?
If you are afraid they won't believe you then confide in another adult that they will believe. Someone you can take with you to talk to your parents. A minister, doctor, school councilor...
Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, I understand peer pressure and how our peers can be the most judgmental. Just hang in there Cory and don't be ashamed of your depression, educate yourself. Look on the web, there is tons of information out there to help you. Hell I've even got a web page on depression with tons of links included in it. It's at: http://home.att.net/~JArsenal/depression.html
First of all St. John's Wort is perfectly legal yes it could show up in a drug test but it should fail you. Yes I would speak to your rehab counselor about your depression. He/She would be able to advice you best on this and he/she could come with you when you talk to your parents.
Cory now listen to me for a minute. This is just a female talking to a male about women/girls. I'm not going to give you motherly advice I'm going to give you my advice about girls. Girls at your age are very fickle, believe me I was at that age too. I was a school bus driver for 5 years for kids your age. I just stopped driving in March of this year. I've seen boys and girls fall in and out of love faster then I can take a shower.
If things don't work out with this new girl, please don't take it personal and don't be hard on yourself. Example: My Ex husbands son Jake, when he was fifteen he dated a new girl almost biweekly. Not because he dumped them it was more like they dumped him.
That's just the way kids/young adults your age behave. It hurts you because you are more mature and sensitive to this. There is nothing wrong with that and someday you'll find the perfect girl who will love you and appreciate your sensitivities.
The guy I love isn't afraid to cry or ask for help...That's why I love him so much.
