Question:
My younger sister 12 attempted suicide over the holidays. I couldn’t believe that I missed the signs. My friend’s mother had me listen to this amazing Doctor at this site www.depression-anxiety.com And this woman had me realize how common depression is in teen-agers.
If only I had noticed the sadness and depression I could have helped
her through this. For all of you mother and fathers out there, please
do not ignore the signs, get our kids help fast...... Does anyone know of a teen depression support group in the Dallas Area?
Answer:
It's my firm belief parents/friends miss the signs not because they
don't know them, but because they don't want to believe anything is
wrong with their child. I can speak first hand about that as my parents
insisted that there was nothing wrong with my left arm until they
finally saw in December 95 (not sure of the year, it's been a long
while) what I had been feeling since that September. December was when I was diagnosed with cancer (I was only 16 at the
time). Lucky for me I've been in remission for going on 7 years now (yay
me).
I'm surprised anyone would think otherwise. Then again, I think my child
hood was rather extreme in what I had to personally endure (and yes, I
know that everyone else always seems to have it easy, but trust me, I
had it really bad). I'm truly surprised my first suicide attempt wasn't
until 1999 (I was 21 at the time). Possibly, but help is only helpful when the person needing it truly
wants that help. :( Sometimes parents miss the signs because they don't see them. I stopped
being actively suicidal many years ago, (I only think about it these days)
and at best I only tried to end it on 3 occations that I remember.
I had a favorite aunt, I just did not realise how favorite until she died a
couple of years ago, before she died we had some really long conversations.
I never thought anyone in my family knew what was happening to me because no
one did anything to stop it. So it surprised me that my aunt would talk
about my parents the way she did.
My aunt said to me one day, she remembered the first time I tried to kill
myself, I said impossible no one in my family knew about it, because I was
living away from home at 19. She said she remembered it, because I was only
5 years old. She then told me how on a visit to her home, I had gone missing
and she went looking for me, when she found me I was lying in the middle of
the road crying, she thought I had fallen over and went to help me, I fought
her off, kicking and screaming and begging her to leave me on the road so a
truck could run me over and I would be dead. Because I wanted to be dead
rather than live with my parents. When my aunt told me this cold shivers
went down my spine because I had forgotten and when she spoke about it, the
memory came back like a movie in my head I could see myself, lying on the
road waiting for the truck to run me over. She had never told my parents nor
had I and I have never told my parents about any of my suicide attempts or
my depression. They don't see the signs because they don't want too. Humans have
selective vision. We don't see what we don't want to. I think it was
called a "Somebody Elses Problem Feild" in one of the Hitchhikers Guide
to the Galaxy books (may D.A. rest in peace *clenches his towel*). I
know parents do care, but when it comes to admitting their child or
friend has a problem or maintaining the illusion that everything is
okay, the latter wins out. Especially in cases of domestic abuse were
both partners are equally liked among friends. No one want's to believe
it because it'd shatter their image of a happy couple. I've only tried it once. I guess not exactly tried it. I made a cup of
tea (green herbal) with as many pills as I could dissolve. Several hours
and a long phone call later I had dumped it down the drain. What still
amazes me is it was in full view of my parents and no one tried to stop
me. (Kitchen and living room were pretty much one room, all one would
have had to do was look over their shoulder to see what I was doing). I had a Godmother that was more family then my actual aunts and uncles
who died of stomach cancer recently. My condolances to you.
I know no one in my family know's what's going on. At least they don't
know I'm suicidal, I think they realize I am depressed, but not to the
full extent (even though I keep stating my self-diagnosis of being a
manic depressive with suicidal tendancies and seasonal affective disorder). In this stupid ing culture, abso-ing-lutely! Depression isn't
an outgrowth of the teen years, it's an outgrowth of the stupid way
parents in this culture treat their children!
