Question:
We have a 17 year old daughter that ran away in June at the age of 16. She has
been in contact with us, but is nothing like her "former"self. Running away was completely out of character for her and a complete surprise to us. She had been doing very poorly in school, with a very low GPA. On the two occasions she has tried to return home, we have had her tested for drugs, and she has come up clean. She gets physically and verbally abusive, especially to me, her mother. We have tried to help her, but after getting physical the last time, she was asked to leave. We have not been able to get her in to see a dr. for evaluation or counseling, although she has had us take her to the dr. several times when she has been ill, and was hospitalized for a rare virus. Still, she goes back to the streets. She is actually living with a group of people in a high crime area of our town. The more I read about manic depression, and talk to people who have experience with it, the more I feel that could be what is wrong with her. How can you help someone who won't be helped? It's hard to deal with the abuse, and I don't know how to find out for sure if that is what is wrong with her. How far can (or should) we push it?
Answer:
Yea, that’s us, the scum and the lowlifes. Any of us have a higher IQ than you or your stupid husband combined. Leave her alone. She will live or die on her own now. The first thing I would do is talk to someone about my daughter’s condition and my reaction to it. It is important for you to get help for your anguish and pain. You can not help your daughter until you understand yourself and her problem. Even then you can only give her the help she will accept.
I have lived with manic depression for forty years and some people around me still don't seem to understand. I guess it's because they are afraid and feel helpless. I try to reassure them that I will survive. It is hard to convince them when I have been in depression for 10 years, but I’m still here and doing what I can. Some people will attack you for your reactions to your situation, but when they do it says more about them than about you. Don't get discouraged, and please seek help for yourselves. There are groups for parents with at-risk children. I hope this gets through to you. It's the first time I've tried to reply to one of these. Your problems affected me and I had to answer. Remember your daughters still alive and she needs support. First, you are the parents. She is a minor. She can be taken to a hospital for observation and meds by you. I would have a tox screen for drugs done as well. This is a classic sign of drug abuse and depression maybe a contributing factor but do the tox screen. This is a dangerous time for a child that age. I'm sorry, I have to disagree. Encourage them to get help. I was the same way in my teens, now 26. I HATE my parents for not seeing the problems, and trying to get me help. SO "Let her live" doesn't cut it.
