Question:
Sometimes I think that I am expecting too much out of life compared with
others. Yes, I am on prozac & buspar but I keep thinking my general mood should
be higher. How does one assess this? Do regular, content people walk around
feeling very, very good? or is there mostly just a dullish neutral feeling,
punctuated by very occasional higher points and lower points? I do not mean
dysthymia? Is there a level above mild depression that is all that can be
expected of humanity?
Answer:
This looks like an easy question - anything goes…from what I have seen in people, i think it's temperament
largely. Some people are actually born with a happy temperament;
i guess that is what lead the ancients to have their own little
DSM I Personality guide: The Choleric personality, the
Phlegmatic Personality, etc. and later with Freud we had
the Hysterical Personality (i.e. originating in the womb).
This was all the Biological Psychiatry school of that time
btw. History of Psychiatry is really neat.
The Yoga Sutra of Maharshi Patanjali states: Parinaama-taapa-samskaara-duhkhair guna-vritti-virodhaac ca
duhkham eva sarvam vivekinah. (YS II,15)
Taimni translates it:
To the people who have developed discrimination all is misery
on account of the pains resulting from change, anxiety and tendencies,
as also of the conflicts between the functioning of the Gunas
and the Vrittis (of the mind)
In other words, if you're not depressed, you're not paying attention? Out-look is a choice. An attitude. I have always been a happy, optimistic
person. I take great joy in living whenever possible. That's one of the
reasons it took such a long time for me to be diagnosed as depressed. My
depression has been long and deep. Many people associate depression with melancholy, but it's a quite different
thing. Depression is about disassociation and depletion of mental energy.
It's about absence of thought and feeling, not about presence of sadness. My doctor tells me that women generally report feelings of sadness, while men
generally report feelings of irritability. For me, it is function. If I have something that needs to be done, or I want
to do, do I do it? When I am really depressed, this is stuff like get out of
bed, take a shower, even eat. When I am moderately depressed, it is like go to
work and get a lot done, buy groceries, work in the yard, whatever. I have a 1
to 10 scale worked out. At 6, I stop doing productive work. At 5, I stop
going in to work.
That's pretty hard to answer, "normality" depends entirely on
your social context. In Jamaica, it might be considered normal
to be relaxed and content, while in New York it might be
considered normal to be stressed-out and rushing around all
the time (these are just examples to illustrate a point, they may
be inaccurate). But I don't think that's what you meant. I look at
it like this: your mood is on a scale, which varies from "suicidally
depressed" to "manic". It would look something like this: 1. suicidally depressed (planning/attempting suicide)
2. major depression (some thoughts of suicide but no action)
3. mild depression
4. feeling a bit "blue"
5. neutral, content
6. in a "good mood"
7. excited
8. hypomanic (no delusions)
9. manic (experiencing delusions)
Bi-polar disorder occurs when your brain can't stabilise in
the middle of the range, and swings between the extremes
instead. A "normal, well-adjusted" (these terms are subjective)
person might vary between 4 and 6 on a day to day basis,
occasionally swinging down to 3 or up to 7. Your medication,
to be deemed successful, should keep you in the 4-6 range
for the most part. At the very least, you shouldn't drop lower
than 3. Here's how I tell what mood I'm in (I have experienced
moods between 2 and 8 on my scale during the last year, so
the following only applies to that range):
Signs of major depression:
- worrying about things you can't change
- persistent worry about a particular thing (anxiety, but not
a phobia or obsessive-compulsive disorder, more likely
to be worrying about a test you just had, the worry varies
from day to day unlike phobias or OCD)
- feeling that life just isn't worth it
- wanting to "escape reality" (e.g. through computer games,
notably online roleplaying games like Everquest or Ultima
Online), and this desire is with you more often than not
- carbohydrate cravings (e.g. potato chips)
Signs of hypomania:
- making big, grandiose plans for the future
- feeling unstoppable
- making jokes all the time
- high creativity, urge to write stories, music, anything
- biting off more than you can chew (ambition)
- not being worried about anything at all (even when you should be)
My natural mood a few years ago was hypomania, this lasted
for months at a time, with very short (e.g. a few days to a week)
periods of mild depression inbetween, a form of bi-polar I guess
but kinda turned on its head. It was during this time that I started
my 4-year computer science degree. After a couple of years, the
stress from the heavy workload took its toll and the hypomania was
replaced by major depression, which didn't stop even after I had
been on holiday (summer vacation) for months. I've started taking
vitamin B complex pills, which seem to be working. I'm more able
to deal with the stress, and I'd estimate my mood has moved from
the previous 2 to 4-5. If I take a higher dose (two high-potency
pills a day instead of the recommended one) I have brief (several
hours) periods of hypomania again, but it only lasts as long as the
vitamin B stays in my system, which is 8 hours, so I need to keep
taking them every day. If I stop taking them for a few days, then my
mood drops down towards 2 again. I've tried two different brands
so far, and while they both helped, one brand (that had a lower
concentration of B vitamins but extra things like minerals and
herbs) seemed to work better all-round. Since I tend towards
hypomania in my natural state, I'm probably not the best person to
take as an example of a "regular, content person", but here is how
I feel when I'm neither depressed nor hypomanic:
Signs of feeling normal:
- no potato chip cravings
- no excessive worry
- no wanting to escape reality
- no thoughts of suicide at all
- no wild ambition
- no cooking meals at 3am because it seems like a good idea
- still make jokes frequently (maybe not quite as often though)
If your depression originated from stress, then vitamin B complex
supplements might help. It's worth a try, they only cost a few dollars
a week. The effect is pretty immediate, so if you take two a day
for a week and they don't help at all, then you know they don't work
for you. The high-potency vitamin B pills generally have between
50mg and 125mg of each B (except B12, which you need a lot less of).
There's also Saint John's Wort, I haven't tried it myself but they say
it's the most popular anti-depression treatment in Europe. Your
mileage may vary.
