Question:
I FIND MUCH SUPPORT FOR ADULTS WHO ARE BIPOLAR BUT WHAT ABOUT
TEENAGERS. IF THERE ARE ANY PARENTS WHOSE CHILDREN ARE BIPOLAR?
Answer:
I'm not a parent. I was, however, an undiagnosed bipolar teenager. The things that come to mind most quickly are 1) that teenagers are
learning and experamenting with living in an adult world, and everything
is a bit odd. 2) Due to hormonal changes, a teenager may have noticable
mood variations that are not immediately explainable.
Add to that the problems of your moods *really* not jibing with the rest
of the world, your strange behavior makes you stand out, that other teens
are aware that you are different, you don't fit in, you have feelings of
doom, and sometimes you really *do* get wild and crazy - and reckless.
I guess you could say that MD and being a teenager reinforce each other.
And yes, it's hell. Your son/daughter is ahead of the game, having been
diagnosed and, presumably, in treatment, but it's still very rough. A
lot depends on the situation.
Also remember that it's going to be - probably already is - very
difficult for the parents. And the rest of the family. You don't know
when you're dealing with teenage rebelliousness and lazyness, and should
be firm, or when you're dealing with the illness. And trying to raise
some one who's making you furious by his/her actions, but knowing that
the kid may not me responsible for those actions... well, I can't
imagine.
My very first piece of advice is to find a support group for friends and
family of MD's, and see if there is an appropriate group for your child.
You're going to get a lot of your best help from others who've been
there, and from knowing that your reactions are perfectly normal. In
case no one has said this yet, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT. Or rather, you
may actually be a bad parent for all I know, but having a MD child is not
a sign of bad parenting.
Second, learn everything you can, even if it's about adults. Especially
depending on how old your child is, the knowledge still applies. And
knowledge is one of our greatest weapons in this fight. Try your
library, your bookstores, ask your doctor, and contact the mental
health/depression/MD organizations. They're on the Web, or someone here
can give you the addresses. Help your child learn all that he/she can as
well - discovering that you're nuts is really scary, and knowledge helps.
And finally, hang in there, and try to stay calm. Remember, if you don't
take care of yourself, you can't take care of your child. And you're
going to need some taking care of, as are other members of the family.
Oh - one more thing. Try very hard to never be or sound patronizing. I
don't know if I can explain that one, but it's important.
If it's any encouragement, I survived, and am now a mostly happy, mostly
healthy adult. I didn't get pregnant, VD, killed in a drunk driving
accedent, and friends and strangers alike were caring and helpful, even
when none of us knew what was going on. I even gained from the
experience, though I doubt that gain was worth what I lost.
This has just been a rough dump of information, going on what little you
posted. In all seriousness, if I can be of help, e-mail me. I do have a
life of my own to pay attention to, but no one should go through this
alone. And helping others helps me a little, as well.
